this is where we disappear
Saturday, October 8, 2011 | 11:00 PM | 0 comments
It's been ten years
And I've got my new set of scars
From broken hearts and broken arms
From chasing after where you are
this is a story
of you and i and him and her,
of memories that are not ours,
yet they reside in our head,
taking up space that belongs to our own
cognitive thoughts and conscious desires;
pushed out because we cannot handle
our two conflicting realities;
because i cannot handle you and her
and you never realized that he loved me.
this is a song
that reminds me of you,
because it is dominated by guitar plucking
and the soft trailing keys that harmonize,
and i am reminded of the cold winter we spent
by the warm fire performing for your
younger sister who died the year after.
perhaps we died too,
the year after she left us,
taking the only bond we were holding together for.
like snow angels in the rain,
we shed tears for the deaths too big
for us to fully comprehend.
this is a song that crescendos and falls
like our voices as we passed from
love to tolerance to anger to frustration,
to compromise to guilt to tears to goodbyes.
i see you with her now,
and i wonder what phase you are in,
because with him i never feel anything anymore,
it's just a perpetual
state
of
tolerance.
i do not pretend to be happy
and i do not expect you to be.
paper windows,
they tell me only one half of the story,
shadows moving across the film as they
perform softly against the light.
so this, my love,
the one that held me tight,
is a story that remembers you
and me
and her
and him,
characters in a story unresolved,
and perhaps all our threads will intertwine-
maybe it's too much to hope,
maybe it's too much to wish,
maybe it's too much to believe.
some memories are yours, some memories are mine.
realities trapped in the corners of my mind.
'missing parts', jeff pianki
So who's gonna love you now
That gravity brought you down
Now that I'm not around
Who's gonna love you now?
Labels: poetry
