Well. I’m 53 minutes away from being 17 for an entire day. It still doesn’t roll off my tongue. Seventeen. My gosh, i feel OLD.

The mathematical formula I’ve come up with is that as you grow older, the excitement of getting older gets lesser. When I was younger, I always looked forward to birthdays. The prospect of getting older always fascinated me… Now, I kinda feel a sense of loss every time I turn a year older. Like I’m losing a part of myself, kinda. And maybe it’s that sense of losing that inner child inside of me. I can say what I want about not losing my child at heartness (say it till I’m blue in the face) but it won’t change that sinking feeling inside of me.

I’m now seventeen, and i’m really beginning to feel the weight of the responsibilities life is pushing down on me. In two years i graduate. In two years I head off to college. In, let’s say, 10 years, I get married. For the rest of my life, I might never get to be the same person I am now. And that’s perhaps what scares me the most, what made Peter Pan so attached to Neverland. Growing up means change.

For now, though, I guess there’s really nothing to do but live in the moment. change is coming. But that doesn’t mean I can’t embrace the hurricane.

You only get just one time around,
You only get one shot at this,
One chance,
To find out,
The one thing that you don't wanna miss,
One day when its all said and done
I hope you see that it was enough,
This one ride,
One try,
One life,
To love.
-'One Life to Love', 33 Miles

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