I don't like it, how every time I think of you, I fizz and then have to remind myself that there's no way I'm ever going to actually be seen as more than a friend. A friend whom you can depend on. I don't like how you always have a grip on my heart no matter what. I hate the way we can have long talks that stretch on forever, but then long periods of time where I never talk to you again because you're always so dang distant.

I don't like how jealous I can get when I see how well my friend gets along with you. I don't like how that makes me compare myself to her, and I fall short in my own eyes. I dislike how I get swept up into a whirlpool and hurricane of pain and of self-doubt and memories flooding back.

Can't you just leave? Can't you just let me forget you and never come back into my life? Why can't you just leave me alone?

Dang you, why can't you just end my misery once and for all?
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