You said move on
Where do I go
I guess second best
Is all I will know
-Katy Perry, 'Thinking Of You'

So today, after school, me and Kyle were talking about how much things have changed, how we met each other, how me and Ryan and him came to hang out with each other every lunch. How we became so crazy, what our lives were before Valley.

And I guess it's come to sink in even stronger than before.

We've all changed.

Not just me;
not just us;
but more like,
everyone I've known has changed.

And then if I flash back further into my memories, I remember Sarah and Kay Ann saying that time could only tell who your real friends were...
And then I remember other things.

Like our tennis team, who we thought would stand the test of time, but now split into several different fragments. We still smile at each other, give each other a quick hug in the hallways, but...something's missing.
While tennis season was still going, we were practically inseparable.
But now...
Looking back, I see that we have changed. Somewhat.
We no longer talk to each other as animatedly as before.
We tend to gravitate towards our other friends now.
And though I know there's nothing wrong with that..
It still hurts me a bit if I think about it.

I remember my friend (whose name shall not be mentioned) who's now acting more like a 'brat' in Nicole's words.
I remember how nice he used to be, and he was funny without being genuinely hurtful.
But now, all his joke's are at others' expense.
And that genuinely stings. What kind of friend does that?
I don't know if he was always like this, and I just realized,
Or he's genuinely changed himself.
Either way, one of us has changed.
I miss the old him.

The thought scares me: that everyone, if we just separate ourselves for a couple of weeks- that we might all change.
I'm not sure that I might like to deal with a radically different Adora/Ashley/Hannah/Carissa/Laraine/Ryan/Kyle/Marilyn/Sarah/Kay Ann/Jon, etc.....
Do I really know how to deal with different people, if they change over summer vacation?
Because eventually, forsaken friends turn into memories, and some memories hurt.

And then it strikes me, how much I hate change sometimes.

Here I am lookin' for signs of leaving,
You hold my hand, but do you really need me?
I guess it's time for me to let you go,
And I've been thinkin' about you,
I've been thinkin' about you.
-Norah Jones, 'Thinking of You'


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