Saturday, February 16, 2008 | 5:14 AM | 0 comments
Status: Frustrated.Reason: No reason in particular, or maybe ten thousand.
I'm watching Antwerp right now, and I swear, if I could murder Justine Henin, I would. Gladly. In a millisecond.
Would I like to elaborate? no. But i have this emotion inside me...I feel like screaming and screaming and screaming until I'm too tired to do anything.
I'm not making sense, but I don't really think I care.
So, why am I frustrated?
-points to post below-
I feel like I'm part of the wall ornaments these days. It's like I say something, but nobody even listens to me. It's like I'm basically hanging around, floating around like some invisible thing. On Thursday, Czen and I walked out of Baskin, see how long it would take for them to realize we were gone.
It took them ten. Czen might not care, but I do.
I told myself to put up with it, I told myself to endure it, maybe it'll pass.
I shut my eyes, tried to occupy myself, tried to pretend nothing was wrong.
That's what comes from bottling everything up, eventually you'll just explode.
Things finally came to a head yesterday, when I got to school. I walked into 3H to find them animatedly discussing the night before. And although I tried to fit in, somehow, I just felt...
I don't know. Fill in the blank.
The whole day was basically freaking out. I got to KDU and saw that they actually saved a seat for me...but I didn't really want to sit there, because that would mean Shu Ern would be stuck with 2K and the form ones...so out of the kindness of my heart...i decided to sit there with her!!!
aren't I just so kind. sighing.
Got back to school, running around like an insane person...
We got third for drama. Sigh. I was hoping we'd actually get 2nd. So yeah, basically, another blow to an already bad day.
Once again, I was the only one who felt that way.
I realized I'm always the last person to find out about things...I'm always the person you don't see in the happy, smiling pictures.
And frankly, I don't see the point in trying anymore.
I hid during Friendship Slides, and I'm not afraid of it.
I'm sorry if this hurts anyone, but I can't take it anymore.
I just can't.



